These pages were many different things at many different times.
Of course, you have to understand, this is a body of work that took 12.5k hours to create. For perspective, that is 6 years of 40 hour work weeks with no vacation or sick leave. At $20/hr that is almost exactly $250k.
In the beginning, they were only at ozenoz.com, where dot-media got its books, my scripts, and correspondence. I wrote furiously by night in a balance of a few medicines. There was Haledol for bi - polar, and amphetamine for increased energy and concentration. Morning time came, I'd down a little something (Venom), and a half pint of vodka to shake off pain, anxiety, and to reinvigorate my "12 hours at - a - desk" bones rocking "Vampire Weekend" or "Eminem" in my ear buds.
I maintained constant correspondence with dozens of agents and publishers at all times, endlessly seeking an answer to financially support my family. I lived at San Diego "Alpha Project's" Winter Shelter Tent with 400 other people, who most days, were pretty chill to hang out with. In fact lacking that level of social contact, apoun getting a studio apartment alone, hurt my emotional well being.
Vodka for the day was done at 7am, I did my cleanup, change of clothes, email rounds, brunch, and headed off to see my girls.
When I say my girls, no I was not with a remote harem. I have a wife, now of near 12 years, and a daughter, then not yet one year old.
I was collecting Social Security for Bi - Polar, so I was depending on it for my daily needs, healthcare, and psyche services, transportation and the things I could, with no rent to pay, buy for my wife and daughter. They were living with my wife's parents, rent - free, while we sorted all this "poor planning" out.
I would hang out with my girls all day, every day, and return downtown to sleep from 8pm to 6am. I would then repeat the cycle, sleeping every other night in an attempt to better my position, and, it was working!
About the time the Winter Shelter Tent was to close, I still had no solution even just for myself as to obtaining housing. I had a meltdown and ran to Venice, CA to be closer to industry contacts, and the Writers Guild. I had, unnervingly enough gotten an offer from a pretty impressive agent, if, I could put a hard - copy on his desk at the beginning of April. It was March 27, 2014, and there was no feasible way for me to finish off the final chapters of "The Holo" now, being completely homeless.
I made my way back to SD shamed, half crazed with desperation to provide for my girls, to win my inlaws approval, and to get my career on track. We celebrated our little one's first birthday at a local hotel, and I got news that I had won a six - month long HUD funded, (PATH) basically free studio apartment downtown. Just for me, though my girls could visit for weekends by checking them in with security.
I was appalled by what came next.
My life fell apart in the nicest LOOKING rent controlled apartment a guy could want.
I was unable to obtain my psyche meds, my apartment was broken into, my neighbors were drug pushers, meth lab startups, and prostitutes. Rosalee had a severe allergic reaction to my apartment, and though we tried everything we could, half a dozen times, she simply stopped coming over.
I lived there for a year and a half paying full rent after the subsidy was over, at $825/month on a $933 fixed monthly budget.
San Diego is ranked the #1 most expensive place to live in the United States.
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| [Edited] Photo @ the #2 WalMart Neighborhood Market in the U.S., in La Mesa, CA [#5684] |
My Social Security was taken from me in August 2015 with no explanation. It went to court in March 2018, and I lost, so now I owe over 30k for the interim pay.
So basically that means I got my monthly checks until the court appearance where a Judge told me he "...wasn't knockin the [my] lifestyle, but [taxpayers] wouldn't support it."
It is my assumption that my narcissistic mother, seeking a court order to control my money, spoke to the SS Offices, (and my WIFE) with her endless control freak behavior, about my heavy drug and alcohol addiction. One that has never has existed.
In the interim, something happened. We realized my daughter has multiple illnesses, and requires the care it takes for 3 or 4 children. I don't want to go into great detail, but we are struggling with her every day and night. We love her dearly, but, poor genes I wish I never got were unfairly handed to her, and have given her illnesses it has taken us years to learn about, get diagnosed, and do multiple therapies, and tutoring. Besides all of this there is her medication and it's monitoring, and helping her to do all of the things every day most 4 year olds can do by themselves. She is almost 11.
In 2020, immediately after the quarantine, I got a job at Wal - Mart [#5684] as a cart attendant, which went well, but was inflexible besides being far beneath my abilities. I held it for four months, I believe, and then the ability to schedule to have any time with my daughter AT ALL was taken, just as I was promoted.
I sadly cashed the final, inflated last check, and you know what else?! We went to Disneyland! Ahh, good times!
I have been unable to make nearly ANY money since then. Coming up on four years. If anybody has ANY job tips AT ALL : email me!
(Update 3/29/24 I found a full time casino job, and right off the bat I might be in line to become a manager!! All of you who have visited helped!! Thank you!!)
So here we are.
In between gig work, and Dad duty, I have given my all to Ozenoz Media. I've made new art, photography, writing, though very little of publishable substance, and next to no music making has been possible.
● In 2019 I made ozenoz.media out of the work that had been ozenoz.com in 2014. A catalog of unused graphic art that had gotten a short bit of attention on my Instagram was used to make my new archive format. I also authored a number of other new articles, posts, and pages.
● In November of 2019, I returned from my horrific 4 month seperation from my wife, homeless in Venice, CA, and created peacebypeace.xyz.
● In 2023 two more websites were added, one as an afterthought on organization and presentation, the other, well, you're here.
I have not taken amphetamines since 2015, and though I will occasionally have a drink or some hemp gummies, it's not a thing for me.
However, if you want to buy me a cup of coffee from my favorite Starbucks, it would be warmly appreciated. Click or scan the QR...
$ [Unobtainium] $
Screenshot the QR and share too!
I guess I wrote this to get a little better clarity on the stressors, and overall endeavors that have been with me as long as all of you who started following me back when.
All in all, as long as I can get work soon, we are ok. In fact pretty happy most days.
Alright, fuck work. Somebody viral - ize my ass and get the donations ROLLING IN!
Thanks in Advance,
Joel
✌️🤪🤙
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